Campus couple balances challenges of work, home
With Valentine鈥檚 Day upon us, couples everywhere reflect on what keeps a partnership strong. Shana Kelley, a professor at the University of Toronto's Leslie Dan Faculty of Pharmacy and Ted Sargent, a professor at the Edward S. Rogers Department of Computer and Electrical Engineering, have not only mastered their collaboration on campus, but also as life partners for the last seven years. 茄子直播 News had the chance to ask this couple a little about what it鈥檚 like to work together both on and off the job.
How did you meet?
Ted: We met at a nanotechnology conference that was being held at UC Irvine. Shana was chairing the session I was in, and there was something about her that caught my eye. She looked then as she looks now 鈥 like the quintessential girl I used to draw when I was in grade school, where I used a yellow crayon for a little bit of hair with a curl in it and a blue crayon for pretty blue eyes. So she was my canonical pretty girl/ attractive woman.
Shana: We met at a nanotechnology conference on the West Coast. We quickly realized that we had aligned scientific interests, so it was easy to think of ways to collaborate scientifically right away. Before long, I realized that Ted was interested in other kinds of 鈥渃ollaboration鈥 as well.
What is it like working in the same workplace? Does it ever pose challenges?
Ted: It鈥檚 fun. We were very fortunate to both be at 茄子直播. An important part of the relationship is the scientific side of it. We鈥檙e both passionate about the same things, we have common values. We do collaborative things on campus together.
We鈥檝e never encountered any challenges probably because we鈥檙e much aligned. When you鈥檙e collaborating you have to work on that relationship, too, and be respectful. We鈥檙e both very good at that, and we think it鈥檚 important to do that. So far, I think both of our careers have improved and we鈥檝e done work that鈥檚 more exciting and interdisciplinary as a result of working together many years ago.
Shana: We really enjoy working together. We run several collaborative research projects, and these are some of our favourite activities. We鈥檙e a very balanced team in terms of personality and scientific expertise, so it works well for us. Ted and I also really like being part of the same community 鈥 it鈥檚 nice for each of us to be able to appreciate the details of the other is doing day-to-day at 茄子直播. So I think we both see it as a wonderful thing to work the same place rather than a challenge.
What is it like to have two strong careers in one household?
Ted: We have a pretty clear division of the hours of the day into family time vs. work time. Sometimes those rules have to be bent, and we are good at figuring out when this needs to happen. For example, Shana鈥檚 traveling at the moment, and it鈥檚 typical for one of us to have to go out of town during any given week, so the other one then has extra family duty.
Having both of us in academics requires symmetry in our relationship. It鈥檚 a partnership of equals but that鈥檚 not to say that we鈥檙e both doing equal things at any given time.
Shana: We鈥檙e very committed to one another and our family, so we鈥檙e able to prioritize the different things we may both be doing. It does take co-ordination and lots of communication, especially when it comes to travelling. We always have to check with one another before agreeing to commitments so we鈥檙e not both off somewhere at the same time. We鈥檙e both very supportive of each other鈥檚 careers so it鈥檚 easy to make the needed sacrifices or compromises.
What is your drive to work like? Do you talk about work?
Ted: What we do during the day is pretty integral to what we do and who we are. So it wouldn鈥檛 occur to us to not talk about work. A lot of it is about the research that we鈥檙e doing, whether together or separately.
Shana: We come in together 鈥 we even walk to work when the weather is good to have some extra time together. We talk about work and our research projects lots, and then also things at home that are come up, like projects around the house or funny things our boys are doing.
What is meal time like in your house?
Ted: Dinner time is two separate slots -- one for the kids and one for us, which is later. I love to cook, and we go back and forth. We love sushi so there鈥檚 no cooking then and we鈥檒l have that once or twice a week.
Shana: Our boys are young, 2 and 4, so they eat quite early, and then we have dinner after they are in bed. This lets the two of us have some nice quality time later in the evening and gives us quality time with the boys.
What makes a strong marriage?
Ted: It鈥檚 a combination of feeling completed by this person you love, but at the same time feeling you have a mutual understanding and alignment of values.
Shana: Ted and I really enjoy each other鈥檚 company, and we almost always see challenges we confront the same way. This makes the relationship very strong in good times and able to weather difficulties that comes up.
What do you love most about your partner?
Ted: I really admire her, her mind and her clear thinking. I find qualities in her that I find missing in myself. I feel that being with her completes me. There are a lot of qualities that we share. We really value clear thinking, productivity and hard work and creativity.
Shana: Ted is a wonderful companion. He鈥檚 so smart and has a wonderful sense of humour. And he is an amazing dad 鈥 he is so patient and attentive to our boys. I鈥檓 constantly inspired by what he is able to do at home and at work.